


let my baby stay

by mozartsounds



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Other, angsty, let Star be loved, sad baby Star
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-10 01:21:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11681055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mozartsounds/pseuds/mozartsounds
Summary: She's never been the selfless one, but for him maybe she can be.





	let my baby stay

**Author's Note:**

> Was feeling a little down and listening to Mac Demarco so this is where the title comes from. Anyways this takes place circa "Starcrushed" and it follows Star and her thoughts about Marco.

_She was born selfish._

No desire for the throne that belonged to the line of her people for hundreds of years, no care for the feelings she hurt nor the hearts she broke. She was happy wasn't she? It didn't matter when it came to the feelings of others because happiness was first when it came to her, even if mother said otherwise. Sure she had made demon's cry and her parents mad, even hurt her reputation a little, but hey happiness was happiness and she didn't care what the others thought, all she cared was what made her happy and what made her feel alive in her boring world of royalty and powerful queens.

Everything changed when she came to Earth.

Sure she would always be selfish even when her hair turned gray but her Marco, the "safe kid" of this sad planet made her always think twice, and half of the time she'd listen, even if her plans were so reckless but still always right compared to his, his nickname was "safe kid" anyways. But of course she listened, he was her best friend aside from Ponyhead, friends listened to each other right? Sure maybe she didn't listen to Ponyhead as much as Marco, but still Ponyhead wasn't too trustworthy like Marco, yeah, she was convinced that was the reason.

She knew she was wrong when Toffee threatened to kill him.

The words stung when Toffee told her to destroy the wand, to whisper it to destruction or else Marco is gone for good. He's just a human, his people will die at the young age of 80, unlikely to see a century or more like her people do. He has human blood running through him and his death will just be another in the sea of monsters she's slain and her people that have passed, his death will bring her home to the throne she despises but will be free to roam wherever. He is just another human on a boring planet that is in a boring dimension.

But she still whispered death to a lineage of queens in her palms, for a human boy who she listens to and a human boy who makes her cheeks flush red for reasons that are not just friends, it all makes sense there and it's all worth it to see him ok.

She pushes the feelings away however, she cannot love a human who will die to soon nor for a human that does not love her. She lets him talk to a pretty girl with a blue strand in her hair, lets him tell her things he'll never tell her, lets him take her to dances and share first kisses with, lets him love her.

And she's happy for him, she smiles when he tells her how much he likes her, gushes about said pretty girl with a blue strand in her hair, because Jackie makes him happy in ways that Star can't. She'll let her feelings fade into oblivion even if it takes forever and she'll let him fall more in love with Jackie. They are friends, she'll try not to overthink the stares he gives her in math class, or the smiles he gives her when they are together, she'll try not to overthink the hugs he gives her when he's worried about her, because all those thoughts are in vain because he doesn't love her, she reminds herself that constantly.

She rejects her feelings in her head and to him when her love is exclaimed over speakers on her "Song-Day," she'll give him her smile after she tells him she doesn't like him at his end of the year summer party, and her lie is partially true because she doesn't like him, it's so much more than that.

But feelings always have to be revealed one way or another, even if they are not returned they somehow find a way to come out. She finds out the hard truth not even a minute after she flees to her room to calm down and cry, finding her mother who tells her the tales of a monster who made her whisper death to her family line, a creature who is no longer dead and a mother who needs her daughter to come home. A home that is not Earth and a home that is a throne she's to scared to rule. Months ago she would've said yes to coming home to a throne that is scary but at least where she feels of somewhat importance there, but here with Marco she's felt more at home than ever before. Those delusions of freedom at home are nothing compared to the freedom she feels with Marco and these new friends of hers. Home is Marco, somehow she knows it's always been.

But the mentions of a creature that was once out to kill her best friend and able to coax her into destroying the family magic of hundreds of years is certain death, especially the death of a boy who is a "safe kid" and is not in love with her. Certain death for a boy that she wants to bring home with her to hold, but will certainly die if she brings him with her. A boy that she may never see again if she leaves without him.

Star has always been selfish she realizes as she trudges down the steps of the Diaz home after she asks her mother for two minutes to talk to Marco, but the thought is gone when she yells his name through the sea of people among her and runs down the rest of the steps to him. She forgets last minute thoughts of bringing him with her to Mewni because he would say yes if she asked, forgets the sea of people as she confesses a secret that is months old, confesses her having to leave to a dimension far from Earth to most likely never see him again. When the confession is done with she'll look at a flushing face and listen to stumbling words, will let tears that have been held in for months run down her cheeks as she mumbles a lame, "Goodbye!" to everyone in the room before she runs faster than the speed of light to her former room, jumps into a portal back home in her fading room as she hears steps that followed hers up.

She comes to Mewni not to see home but to see a carriage that holds all her things in the back. She'll look through her boxes of things for minutes before her mother whisks her someplace that is not home. She'll snag a somewhat dirtied red hoodie, and hold it to her face and cry into it before she wears it like a cape and jumps into the comfortable mess that is hers than sitting in the front. Her mother will look back at her with a sad look before smiling, reaching a hand back for hers to squeeze. "You didn't tell the human boy to come with you?" Her mother will ask, and Star will look down and shake her head no. "His name's Marco. And no mom, I couldn't let him come to Mewni just for him to get captured and die." She'll say with a voice that shakes, and her mother will squeeze it again for reassurance. "How selfless of you Star, I'm sure Marco would be proud, I know I am." Moon will smile down at her, letting go of the hand that is the broken princess Star Butterfly, not bothering to look down because she knows there'll be no use because her daughter won't look up.

And Star will grip her wand and cry into a red hoodie that belongs to Marco Diaz, her best friend and the guy that she loves. She has never been selfless, always selfish, but he was worth being good for, even if it takes away her happiness and leaves her with heartbreak and gloom, because he deserves a happy life where he can be the selfish one instead of her.

**_She can be selfless just once, even if it kills her._ **


End file.
